Out of fucking nowhere I want to learn how to play the harmonica again.
So, Expendables 3 comes out this weekend, and I’m excited for a lot of reasons. First, of course, is that I’m a big fan of this franchise that consistently delivers a metric shit ton of fun by combining many of my favorite action icons doing what they do best.
But the main reason I’m excited is that Wesley Snipes is joining the team. The minute that cat was sentenced to prison, I was telling people “Expendables 3 HAS to open with the team breaking Wesley Snipes out of jail” And from what I’ve heard, that’s exactly what happens.
But now, I’ve learned that Snipes’ character, Doc, is a knife throwing expert, which any Expendables fan knows is also the roll Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) serves on the team. Anyway, if I was Stallone, this is the scene I would write for the two of them:
INT. EXPENDABLES HQ - DAY
Lee Christmas approaches Doc, who is sharpening several of his knives for the upcoming battle.
CHRISTMAS: Those are some good looking Blades.
DOC: Well, this first Blade is good, and this second Blade is even better. But my third Blade is pretty jacked up.
CHRISTMAS: I didn’t want to say anything, but that third Blade is a mess. What you need a forth Blade to really make things right.
DOC: A forth Blade, huh? Good call.